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Now I have had many heartaches as the next guy or gale. When you get to a certain age and you spend enough time with someone they begin to become a habit. Have you ever felt addicted to someone? Well, not only do I have habit forming relationships but after my last two experienced breakups. I should have known, they say you find someone whose heart is in the same condition as your is when you are starting a relationship. Meaning the whatever phase of heartbreak recovery or relationship recovery are you attracts the same personality. YES! I knew he was just fresh out of relationship but I could not resist his charm. His features. I loved everything about him. From his cute bold head to his sexy voice AND so on.
From the beginning I thought that he was truly in a loving relationship in the past, but little did I know the narcissist will continue draining his past relationship if he thinks that they keep giving the attention. He left the line of communication open for her, and if it would get closed he would find another way to make Sure he could get her attention until she finally found out the truth, that he was also in a relationship with me.
When he would be so distant form me I was worried he was depressed and I wanted to comfort him. But in these times he would not let me in no matter what I did. He went about his life and just left me out of it. Even though we lived to gather went to bed together. My best guess would be he would come back around in sense snap out of it because he needed something. And of course I loved him and wanted him to be happy I would give him anything.
I had been in every kind of relationship there is. One of which was very bad so any other relationship beyond that seemed great to me. I still had my friends and I had been building my self esteem. So any attention from him was good attention and I adored it.
Meeting the, the narcissist
After 4 years of giving my life, my love, my money, he changed. I confronted him about his time and attention he was still giving to his ex. I had supported every aspect of this mans being, It was now Christmas time and I had never received a Christmas present from him and that never bothered me for he had other responsibilities and the money was not really there. Well this year it was and Christmas was fantastic it was surreal.. He gave a beautiful ring and many other gifts. I was in my awe. Within days of Christmas morning we had an argument and a lot of truth came to light. He was going to his mothers to stay. This was the story I got.
As he stood in front of me before leaving he reached for my hand and took his ring he took all of his gift back. He had already started another relationship. The truth is he had abondand me long before and nothing I was able to do to make him truly love me. He bought me presents that year to have me open in front of his family. He left me and took his gifts because they were never really bought for me. It was for his show.
Letting go was hard but I knew in my heart that if I continue letting him be a part of my life the drain and strain of loving and not getting real attention real commitment and honesty would continue breaking me down. I had got to the point that looking for his validation and working hard for it was taking my natural self worth and self esteem to a level so low I did not know if I would be able to come back.
Recovering from the heartache
Although our hearts break for the things we cherish that we lose in our lives, we do gain room for growing a better version of ourselves in the end. I have learned that although love is blinding we must take the time to get to know who we love before giving them so much ourselves. Make sure that what you have to offer the one you love will offer you the same and that when two people are ready to become one they are equal, treated equally cherished equally and loved equally. Because nothing is harder to overcome than giving so much love to someone who takes it for granted and has no means of giving you love in return.
A narcissist can not love something unless there is something in it for them. And a narcissist will drain you of everything.
So I am just posting this piece of content due to having been through this experience lately and is what is brought me to this point in my life. I would love to hear from anyone who has been in this position and if you have comments, complaints or concerns. http://Contact me here.
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